Positive steps to change this behaviour (Attention seeking)
Knowing that these thoughts are there is an important first stage in overcoming attention-seeking behaviour. They will be negative thoughts like: "I fear that I'm not good enough, everyone here is better than me", or "I'm not attractive, nobody loves me". You can stop the whole process right there and then by challenging these beliefs with: "Of course I'm good, I'm just as good as the next person" or 'I'm attractive and loveable but I do need to be bolder and chat to people," for example.
But life is life and perhaps we let these thoughts ferment. All is not lost however. You can recognise the feelings that accompany your thoughts and then take action. If you feel undermined, insecure, ignored or unrewarded then be aware of your particular emotional triggers to attention-seeking behaviour. Go back to thoughts that generated the feeling or simply relax and take some time out to examine what is going on.
Finally, what really works is to talk about how you feel to the person or people causing the problem. The mother who's doing far too much for her family needs to negotiate with them to do more. If she cooks they do the dishes. If not, they may have to fend for themselves. This direct approach is far healthier than acting like a martyr or shouting the odds. At least it provides you with the opportunity of finding a solution.